Yes, I used to be selfish. I didn't want to share you with others.

Looking back to those thousand memories with you then i got those pain come back through these damn tears. The time when we never thought bout this kind of ending, it brought me nerveless. two years gone, we'v through many things. we stupidly looked for my cat, you went back to school in the evening then helped me to finish my homework, you surprisingly gave me an ice cream, when we pray in Syuhada  then you leave me because you said you would fix the flat tires but you came back with a bouquet of flowers, you were lying and that was funny, we walked together on the beach, ignite the fireworks on that evening, staring those million stars together. i still remember the smell of the beach wind that evening, i still remember how you hold my hand. i will never forget when we wear a couple rain coat in the rain, when we lost in the jungle,   when i put "koyo" on your navel. well, those story was over anyway. it was just a memories and i used to live there. 

everything became different when you showed me many things. those girls, the way you treated them, the way you treated me,the way you lie on me, the way you make me crying. that was great. you did hurt me many times, you said you didn't meant it. how could i believe that you didn't meant it if you did it more than once?

i run out my words, i don't understand why you hurt me that much, i beg you to stop, but it was never happened. you said you don't want to be forced, then i said i don't want to be hurt. i do love you, but i can't live with this pain. i have no idea. this was my last choice, i was very tired. maybe it will be better if i leave you. i knew tht i'm gonna miss your voice, but i have to.

congratulation, you'r free now!

Do I Look Like a Teacher?

Beberapa minggu yang lalu,

Liburan ini aku hampir nggak ketemu sama yang namanya bangun pagi. Jadi waktu aku bangun matahari pasti udah di tengah. Matahari munggkin punya jadwal lebih awal untuk pindah posisi waktu aku lagi libur. Mungkin. Singkat kata, aku hampir selalu bangun siang waktu liburan. When i have no reason to wake up early in the morning then my eyes will automatically close tightly till the lunch time. 

Like what i said before that i will wake up early if i have reason to wake up. I woke up at 5.00 am today, and yes i have the reason. I'm gonna teach. At 7.00 a.m i should be in SMA Internasional Budi Mulya in Maguwoharjo. I teach 2nd grade high school student for private class . when I was driving to that school, i tried to convince my self that i would be look like a teacher.

I arrived there, and it was too early, i waited for around 15 minutes then many teacher looks busy preparing their books and other stuff. one student came to me and said " hi miss" . (the rule in that school : the call their teacher miss and mister). then finally i got one of them call me " miss" 

Smart Street Kids

Few weeks ago, i went out with my high school friends to get some snack. Shortly, we went to Mcd in Sudirman street, Yogyakarta. It is located  5 minutes driving from Tugu jogja, 200 meters from Phoenix Hotel.

When my friend was ordering foods, i looked out to the parking lot. there was 2 little boys were selling news paper. they looked tired and dirty. suddenly lots of question came up in my mind. "they are too young to earn money, where is their parents?" "do they go to school?" " do they have home?". then something pushed me to        

walk closer to them. 

They were around 13 and 7 years old. it is too young to earn money. i bought 2 news paper to start my conversation with them. finally i engaged in a very short conversation with those two boys. from that 5 minutes conversation i got an information that they do not go to school anymore, 1 of them homeless, and they sell news paper to earn money. 

It was not my business anyway, they were not my brother and they were not my kid so i should not think bout them. but unfortunately i did. 

i love checking my tweeter at night before i go to sleep. While i was checking my tweeter, i remembered that short conversation with those two attractive kids . i did not know what brought me thinking bout them. in my deepest heart, i want them to go back to school. they should not be there!

Every children has right to go to school, so do they. They have the right to go to school, but they did not have money. The question which come up in my mind was " do we have such a free school for them?"

i tried to get the answer on @JogjaUpdate. i thought i could ask everything bout my town there. 

I opened my twitter, and i got the answer from Heru Zudianto (the ex mayor of yogyakarta), he said that They can go to Rumah Singgah. Rumah singgah is a school owned my government. in Rumah singgah the street kid can study by free. the second answer i got from Peni, she recommended her school named Briliant Home Schooling.

I went back to Mcd with a big hope that they would be there. but they were not there. i saw a little girl was grabbing an ice cream. i asked her bout those two boys and she helped me to find them.

Anyway, That girl named Yanti, she was also a news paper seller, she still went to school, she loved reading and surprisingly she had ever made a writing and it published in  Kedaulatan Rakyat (local newspaper ). that was awesome!

Back to my first mission (mission?:0). finally i met them. then i asked them whether they still want to go to school or not. they said that actually they really want to continue their  study, they want to have the certificate like others but they have no money.with a very big expectation for taking them to school, i told them that i got information bout free school. Then, they said " we already know bout that, but we are too old to go to class" then another kid said " i should be in 5th grade in elementary school but now i'm 13. i ashamed of my age, it's too old to be in 5th grade"

I don't have any idea to motivate them. they are smart, they should not be there, but they are lack of motivation. Their personal problem was very complicated, moreover for children on their age. Lucky me.

I don't know what's gonna happen next, but now i become their partner in study. i help them doing their homework. i teach them English because the really want to learn English. We have become friends.
Hope they'r gonna go back to school some day. I lov them.

my second blog

hi there,

actually this is my second blog. i had ever made a blog before but now i can't open it. 

anyway let's back to what i'm going to write on here. in this new blog i would like to write anything that i want to share, i'm gonna write bout my experiences, my new stuff, my friends and everything. hope you guys will enjoy it.

every word here is mine!

cheers,
meywinda